How to audit, organise and clean up your mind whilst gaining confidence, clarity and success with a true sense of self.
What’s up guys,
The challenge that many of us face is apathy. Apathy stems from a lack of goals and personal beliefs; the kinds which get you excited about life and enable you to complete the hard work that is required. If you’re reading this then we can be pretty sure that apathy isn’t your primary affliction. Even if you can’t confirm your goals in detail then you have to know they are still there residing in your subconscious mind which has led you to be reading an article on their attainment. In this article I’m going to predict –with incredible accuracy! – What’s holding you back and how to remedy it. If you apply the practical steps from the following text then you can experience enhanced confidence, self-belief and a sense of satisfaction that will only assist in your drive for greatness.
So what’s the problem with the chosen few!? Well I’ve been considering this question recently: “why is it that high achievers or even just those with great ambition who are yet to undertake their journey, often suffer from a sense of restlessness and dissatisfaction? Why is it that the most successful people often base their self-confidence on fleeting external factors and engage in negative self-talk?
Guys with Spikes
Did you ever see the documentary ‘Enron, smartest guys in the room’? The company culture was such that the upper tier executives and CEO were hired on the grounds that they were ‘guys with spikes’ –extreme characters. Personality clusters of incredible salesmanship, manic depression, great interpersonal skills, callus ruthlessness and unhinged obsession. The underlying and shocking theme amongst many high flyers is usually some level of overabundant narcissism –at least in the beginning.
Definition of narcissism in English:
‘1.1 Psychology Extreme selfishness, with a grandiose view of one’s own talents and a craving for admiration, as characterizing a personality type.
1.2 Psychoanalysis Self-centredness arising from failure to distinguish the self from external objects, either in very young babies or as a feature of mental disorder.’ Oxford University Press. (2014).
Narcissism doesn’t provide any genuinely positive feelings but only an outward projection of success and excellence. Here’s the thing –without being too ‘Good Will Hunting’ about it- this affects everyone to some extent AND it isn’t your fault. It is also not necessarily a bad thing in its entirety. Everyone is narcissistic to a differing degree and there is actually thought to be a healthy level of narcissism, but it is common for anyone who has overcome hardship and/or trauma in early life to develop a high tendency for narcissistic expression. It is these traits that drive the person toward success but ultimately leave the individual feeling unfulfilled and with a sense of melancholy as their achievements are never enough. The confidence gained is fleeting as the victories are quickly forgotten and the next impossible goal becomes the all-consuming centre of the individuals waking reality. Author Stacey Scott Mae states succinctly what narcissism feels like in its worst and most overabundant form:
“The narcissist, cut off from her spirituality, is one who spends unquantifiable energy supporting and maintaining an utterly and completely fake self, in denial of one’s true self, trading it for glamour to compensate for a core of being that is simply wracked, a deep dark cold void; using and abusing others to maintain and sustain the false state. This fake self is contrived in absentia from the connectivity that even the most unaware take for granted. The narcissist doesn’t see other human beings.” ― Stacey Scott Mae
If you’re a high achiever and a strong willed survivor of trauma then that’s excellent but the individual must learn to gain awareness of narcissistic tendencies so that they may feel a sense of accomplishment and genuine happiness whist they succeed in life. We live in a world that is continually growing in narcissistic culture and preoccupation. We must find a way to achieve without becoming complicit and malignant within this system.
‘Unsurprisingly, narcissism levels have been rising for decades. Such increases pre-date social media but they have clearly exacerbated since its emergence.’
The Guardian. (2014). sharing the (self) love: the rise of the selfie and digital narcissism. Available: http://www.theguardian.com/media-network/media-network-blog/2014/mar/13/selfie-social-media-love-digital-narcassism Last accessed 20th December 2014
Self-growth: Developing genuine confidence, a sense of self and a new focus for success
As always let’s look at practical steps with as much simplicity as possible. These can be broken down into just four practises and are based around the theme of ‘recapitulation’. The great thing about this theme is that its veracity is confirmed by the amount that it is referenced and utilised in different schools of thought. Recapitulative practises are referred to by different names and with variation in method by Neuro Associative Conditioning, Toltec Healing, Dianetics and Regression Therapy.
Recapitulate as a ritual for negativity resolution:
This particular first section of the practice has Toltec origins with a chronological framework that I have implemented from Dianetics –in that the process will work from earliest memory and proceed forwards in time (L. Ron Hubbard Dianetics 1950). The basic method is to take inventory with a pen and paper of the significant events which have caused pain in your life. These events will fall into different categories for everyone ie: competitive experience, violent experience, relationship experience etc… Once this list is complete you can begin the ritual of working on one experience at a time to regain energy (or if you’re of a less spiritual disposition you could view this as neurological associative reconditioning exercise). This will proceed as follows:
- Sit in quiet and non-distracting area and focus on breath. This would preferably be a darkened room as the sensory deprivation helps you to focus. Close your eyes in any case.
- Chose one memory to work on at a time. You should work from the earliest memory first and continue forwards in time with each ritual. Play it through in details in your head. Notice detail, smell, taste etc.. Until you feel very connected and present within the memory. Notice rising emotions without judgement as a spectator.
- See energy strands connected to your abdomen (again, if this sounds like hippy nonsense then just imagine for the sake of your neurological reconditioning that you are simply removing the negative emotional connection from the event).
- Turn your head to the right and then as you turn to the left –slowly- inhale through the nose and gain back the positive energy you have expended to the experience and feel this entering back into your lower abdomen.
- Now turn your head back to the right and exhale any negative emotions. Particularly from people, places, words and sounds that are external to yourself. This energy isn’t yours so you can just hand it back.
- Continue this process for as long as you feel is necessary to restore and cleanse your energy –or recondition your neurological pathways!
- Stop breathing and turn your head left then right then left then right quickly to sever the energy cords. The energy cord attached to yourself is glowing positive energy and re-enters your abdomen and the other half is now empty and translucent and disappears into the ground.
Recapitulate as a ritual for positivity confirmation:
Make an inventory of significant positive past events –recollect your achievements and victories. Make an energetic bond -or stronger neurological association to them! – By writing them down. You are likely to be so focused on your next goal that you will be surprised looking back at how much you have already achieved. The act of writing these out re-enhances your self-belief and goes some way towards calming feelings restlessness of running out of time. Don’t worry about ‘losing your drive’ this won’t happen as you will instead gain energy, confidence and direction from the positive practise you have engaged with.
Recapitulate as a meditative practise:
Performing a daily recapitulation meditation is a great habit to acquire. This practise will help you to realise and celebrate your achievements as well as to ‘increase your peace’ by resolving any issues or conflict you have encountered. It can be a long and thorough practise or a brief overview. Sit or stand in meditation and connect with the breath. Now play out the day’s events in motion, watching as if an independent observer. Anything need to be resolved? Write your next actions in your diary/planner. Anything achieved? Feel the positive energy and acknowledge your growth. This whole process could take as little as five minutes.
I’ve heard world renowned life coach Anthony Robins talk about his morning ritual including questions which induce gratitude i.e.: “what am I excited about?” This is a great practise and as you’re writing out your inventories and resolutions from recapitulation you might as well incorporate into the same book a few gratitude questions that you will begin everyday with. This practise can be taken a step further and each day can begin or end with writing an article of gratitude into your diary. Author Eckhart Tolle states in A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose that the key to all abundance in life is an attitude of gratitude.
Nic Gabriel speaks about his gratitude diary with us on eastsleepgrowrepeat podcast episode 5: http://eatsleepgrowrepeat.com/nic-gabriel-living-life-to-the-max/
So in summary the total method looks like this:
- Recapitulate as a ritual for negativity resolution: make an inventory of significant negative past events a. gain energy back b. sever energetic ties with the event.
- Recapitulate as a ritual for positivity confirmation: make an inventory of significant positive past events a. gain energy from recollection b. Connect energetic ties with the events from putting into writing.
- Recapitulate as a meditative practise: recognise your achievements and gain focus through the described meditation.
- Keep a gratitude practise: This will enable a healthier attitude to be taken toward daily training and achievement. Achieve whilst being happy, because achieving to be happy doesn’t work.
So go forth, succeed more and feel better. The past wasn’t your fault but the present and future are your responsibility.
“Actually, we have no problems – we have opportunities for which we should give thanks… An error we refuse to correct has many lives. It takes courage to face one’s own shortcomings and wisdom to do something about them “ – Edgar Cayce
Fix your mind, fix your reality,
This one’s for you,